Victory or Supression?

Why is it that we as parents expect our children to display character that we ourselves do not possess? How is it that we can be angry towards our children and yet expect them to respond in a quiet and submissive manner? Ah, we're trying to teach them the right response and hope that they will not end up with the same faults that we have. We expect victory in our childrens' lives that we do not have in our own. I wonder how many of us realize that though we might teach our children to suppress their anger, it still seethes inside them every time they see us display an angry countenance. The only way to conquer their anger and more importantly ours, is to claim God's victory and believe in it. We must give our anger problem to God and allow him to fight the battle. That means giving up every part of self to His divine control. Only through His power can we have any hope of overcoming. It's time we understood that He doesn't want to help us fight the battle, he wants to do it Himself. All of it. For me, I feel that my children will be better off getting away with an occasional outburst of passion/anger and me staying calm, than them not getting away with it and yet me being angry. They must see calm control in our lives or they will never possess it themselves. They must see peace and calm when things are not going our way far more than seeing it when things are all great and good.
Colossians 3:21
" Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest the be discouraged."
Matthew 18:6
" But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of the sea."
Does this shine a more clear light on the subject? This is how precious children are to our heavenly Father, and yet we offend and provoke them to anger when we speak harshly, when our frustration is displayed, when we get angry with them for any little (or big) fault. I'm not saying that parents should not discipline their children - God forbid! What I am saying is that the attitudes that we display are the attitudes that our children will display, and if we can't discipline our child in a calm godly way that draws them closer to us and to God, then we have no business correcting them.
I am not in any way trying to make myself an authority on this subject. I am so very far from my own ideal, nevertheless my Father's. This is just something that God is teaching me and through His power I aim to enact it in my life and in my attitude towards my children. What could glorify our precious Saviour more than us reflecting His image to our children and them in turn reflecting that image back to Him?